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FISH TULIPS

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ALLIUM SWAN

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SEASONAL BRANCH

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SPECKLE BRANCH URN

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REI’S TERRACE TOMATOES

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The Undiscovered Self

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What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

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The Collected Poems

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Paradise Lost

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Cat’s Cradle

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I Wear the Black Hat

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Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs

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The Trouble With Being Born

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The Cathedral and the Bazaar

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Inferno

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Motoboy

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The Four Seasons / Concerto alla Rustica

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Welcome Interstate Managers

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Rei’s Super Special Baileyrp Mix

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Country Grammar

WELCOME HOME

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Ammonite

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LORD, WRAP MY DAUGHTER INTO YOUR LOVING CARE, PROTECT HER STEPS AND KEEP HER IN YOUR SIGHT. GUARD HER HEART AND MIND WHEREVER SHE GOES, AND LEAD HER SAFELY THROUGH THE DAY + NIGHT.

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PORTAL

Thanks for coming by, make yourself at home, you know I don’t love talking on the phone, so I opted for a long letter.

Recently, I began thinking about my life in weeks <

>. I stopped thinking about time as an abstract, renewable substance and started seeing each week with great distinction—as something that could never be traded for another one later.

I committed myself to keep asking more of each one. Not through relentless self-optimization, but to become increasingly awake inside my own life and notice more, risk more, make more, follow the things that make me being here feel significant. Bring my visions, those of the people around me, to life, every day, and I can’t save the fullest version for later.

That changed how I understood attention. If time is this finite, then what I give my attention to eventually becomes the entire substance of my life.

+ I realize how much attention I've spent treating my interests as competing variables to be optimized, separated, resolved. I was 'unfocused', or too focused on too 

 things, which was worse, and fine, people told me I was.

I have always been a competitive person. I knew from the moment I came to in my consciousness that I wanted to win, but which game was I playing? The careful structures I helped build for others + private strangeness that occupied my own attention followed different rules, so I treated my multiplicity as a classification problem: determine which was real, which were distractions, the format, its rules, which configuration would make me legible enough to win that one.

But if something is inherently multiple, attention should not be wasted on reduction.

SON is the inversion of that instinct and begins with a different proposition: rather than reduce people + things to fit existing systems, what if we design systems that preserve their particularity?

What if coherence comes from a way of seeing rather than membership in a category or industry?

I learned that legibility=singularity—choose the title, discipline, aesthetic, story, speciality, look this way or don’t look that way, don’t talk that way, 

 don’t talk that way either. Talk like 

. Decide what belongs to your work life and what remains personal. Decide which parts represent your future and which should be left in the past. But putting on a person suit every morning starts to feel vaguely Orwellian and impossible to sustain and I think...

…if there’s no replacement for today then why would I spend even a second of it or my energy separating a life that happens to me all at once? How can I collapse all of this into one thing? 

 would I do that? Everywhere I am, I want to be the same person, same suit.

For now, I won’t choose any one game. If multiplicity is the condition, then simultaneity is the practice. Keeping these multiple forms of attention active all at once, alchemizing, letting the movement between them produce something that none could ever produce independently.

It’s more than multitasking. Multitasking is about throughput, it asks how many things you can execute at once, simultaneity allows multiple things to remain real before you know how they relate—it’s about co-presence, permeability, and eventual convergence.

Focus, then, stops meaning fewer parts + starts meaning a center of gravity. REO introduced me to this idea of the zenith, and I understood immediately what he meant. These parts have finally come beneath the same star, my star, different expressions of the same way of seeing. I keep getting asked (I’m sure affectionately), “if you could be doing anything right now, what would it be?” Responding, now, is alarmingly simple—it would be to keep living vertically like this.

I built SON not to resolve contradictions but to give them a shared world. Here, I want everything to exist as evidence of the same life. I think that’s the uncomfortable thing I clocked re:making meaningful things, that we or I at least don’t make work despite living messy lives, but better work because I do. Being genuinely changed by my life gives my work access to systems, truths, lore, data, I could never have designed from outside it.

I recently went to a psychic who told me that my belief in divine timing was my next principal lesson. I don’t take that to mean waiting passively for life to happen or that everything arrives through some invisible magic. I think if the zenith describes the structure, then the psychic is describing the time it took/takes for that to become visible to me. I’ll challenge myself to trust that the parts of my world that belong together will find one another w/o being forced into place. If it doesn’t open, it’s not my door .๋࣭ ⭑

Things here will change, flowers will live and die, the music will change, I’ll find things, be given things, lose track of them, things will be taken from me, people passing through will make choices I could not have anticipated + have no control over. The ledgers remind me that replacement + evolution don’t mean erasure, that things are precious partly because they do not remain. This was once true, then something changed, then I changed, and all of it belongs to the same life. That comforts me, not having to disprove my past, and instead of fearing that my life, this practice, might look entirely different a year from now, I can’t wait to see what that looks like.

I know this website will break some hearts, and confuse others, but they say you never get a second chance at a first impression. I hope this website does not tell you any one thing I am or do. I hope it instead gives you an unmistakable view of me through everything.

Inspiration isn’t the word for what I want this space to offer, charge is closer: an uncomfortable, exciting suspicion that your own life could contain more than any existing architecture allows.